Do you ever have days (weeks) that you just feel so anxious you can't sit still, sleep, concentrate? I don't know exactly what is bothering me lately, but I can't seem to get my crap together. I take that back. I know what kind of crap I am struggling with. Things with L have been especially frustrating and difficult. I've been hurting a lot lately. My shoulder seems to have decided it was going to start and flare up more than normal. I've also started having more severe problems with my right hand/ thumb. I don't really want to spend my time complaining about this stuff, so I've kind of just let it go and hoped things get better. I have no real desire to go to a doctor about my hand bothering me, but I don't know that I have much of a choice. The idea of more pain, injections, meds, waiting, and most likely surgery is so daunting to me. Anyway, because I feel like I'm ready to jump out of my skin at any moment, I've been channeling that energy into obsessions. I know that what I'm doing is out of control and probably not super healthy to my mental well being, but it gives me a little relief, so I succumb.
Right now, I have about a half dozen or more ideas/ obsessions floating around in my head. Here are a few: a spring wreath (I bought all the materials at my MANY stops to Pat Catans), succulents, mini gardens, starting my seeds for my garden inside, string art, macrame, organizing and printing years and YEARS worth of pictures, terra cotta mushrooms and turtles as garden art, preparing for Easter (yes, I know it's crazy early but I can't stop)....I think that's it...hahah that's enough. I'm actually to the point of not having enough room for plants or craft supplies!
This post has taken me forever to finish. Since I've started this, I went to the doctors and he confirmed my fear that I do need to have the thumb joint of my right thumb replaced. Boo. I knew it was coming and I appreciate my doctor not forcing me to go thru all the steps when the inevitable is surgery. Ideally, I would like to wait until next year to do it, but quote frankly, it's going downhill very fast in the hand dept.
We've started back with therapy with L. We hadn't gone all winter (does anyone do anything during the winter??), but the time had come to revisit therapy. The first session went alright. We have another one next week. The therapist made a lot of references to aspergers. I feel like I am finally understanding why they like to wait until the child is a little older to diagnose. As he gets older, L is showing a lot more signs. Also, something weighing heavy on my mind is L's heart appointment. He goes April 15, so we should know more at that point. It's killing me not knowing!
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