I'm Excited!

I don't think before I had kids you'd ever find me being super excited about a child of mine getting assistance and going to a preschool with other kids with behavioral/ developmental delays (forgive me, I hate the term "special needs", and I really don't know what the correct term is), but today I am so happy and excited for L!  Last week was L's graduation and summer program from preschool.  It was kind of awful.  I should explain....L went to a preschool affiliated with a church and for Christmas they did this adorable singing program during a church service.  L did terrible.  He yelled "momma" through one song, he sat down, ran across the stage, didn't sing or dance like the other kids, etc.  He was by far the kid who was paying attention the least, but there were a few other kids who didn't go with the flow.  One could easily say, this was L's first time at such an event, he was learning.  Well, the summer program proved just the opposite.  Only this time, he was the only kid not paying attention.  The rest of the class all sang and danced (oh by the way, thankfully, this was only done in front of the parents and grandparents rather than the whole church!) and L stood there picking his nose, hands down his pants, lifting his shirt up, and trying to get his hands on the microphone stand.  The first time, it was kind of funny.  This time I left feeling really upset and sad.  I just hated seeing him and how so very clearly he was different from everyone else.  Now, don't get all up in arms that I am that parent who hates her kid to be different.....that is NOT even remotely the case.  I love the fact that L is a little quirky.  I was by no means the normal child.  I suspect A wasn't entirely normal himself.  Normal is so boring!  Mostly, I felt bad for L that it was so evident that he just didn't fit.  It really hit me hard and lit a fire under my butt to pursue the county school for "special" kids (I can barely even stomach that title!"  I had taken him last October to be screened, but they mostly tested intelligence and that is not AT ALL an issue.  L is a ridiculously bright boy.  I figured with his teacher's help (she had mentioned tri county preschool to me at conferences in the winter, but I didn't want to disrupt L's school year and start a new school...that's if they even had a spot for him) and the results, even if not entirely conclusive yet, I had a better leg to stand on.  Earlier this week, L did the more complex screening (what they would have done after the first pre-screening).  Amazingly enough, they saw basically all the same things we have struggled with and his teacher from this year agreed 100%.  I say, "amazingly enough," because there are times when I have worried that I am projecting things on to L and making things worse in my head.  It's always nice to hear that I am not crazy after all.  So he will be going to school 4 days a week for 2 1/2 hours.  The class size is around 12-13 kids and half are on the normal scale of development and half are with L, in that they need some help with behavioral or developmental issues.  This is great for so many reasons, but mostly, it's a start in the right direction for all of us.  Hopefully, with A and I going to therapy and learning ways to cope, discipline, and coordinate and L going to a school on the same page, we have a much better chance at L being successful and making things a little easier for all of us!  Anyway....wanted to share our good news! 

My Garden

If you thought that I was plant crazy last year with my garden and flower beds....wait till I tell you about this year!  ;)  I've become obsessed and I love every minute of it!  This year, I started even more of my plants by seeds indoors.  I planted tomatoes, peppers (mild and hot), zucchini, cucumbers, cantaloupe (which oddly enough I didn't even plant in my garden), cauliflower, cabbage, sunflowers (a mix of short and tall), carnations, dahlias, LOTS of marigolds, foxgloves, and basil.  Wow!  This year I got a little more savy than last.  I had plenty of veggies to share with my in-laws and my dad, but I also had enough to sell via Facebook.  It actually worked out famously!  I pretty much broke even on what I spent for the seeds, containers, and soil...so basically, my garden (and everyone else I gave veggies to) was free as well as most of my flowers!  Here are some pics of my hard work!!!

As I look at these pictures, I realize they barely look different from last years, but I swear I've done a lot more work!  Hahahaha!

Dead Ever After (SPOILER ALERT!)

I am going to try and put up a few blog posts today.  Maybe this is ambitious of me, but I haven't done much in a while and I wanted to write something more upbeat. 

I have been an avid fan of Charlaine Harris and her books for quite a while.  I've read all of her series and most of her short stories.  This month, the last book of the Sookie Stackhouse series (True Blood) was released.  I had mixed feelings before starting the book.  I am a little bummed that the series is over and I know there was a lot of buzz about who Sookie would finally end up with.  If I am honest, the books were getting to be a little all over the place, so I suppose this book was as good as any to end the series with. 

If anyone has already read this, I would be curious if you agree with me....  To me, it seemed like there was a lot of loose ends to tie up in a short amount of space.  I knew in my heart that Sookie and Eric would have to break up.  I have always been a fan of Eric and Sookie, but I figured that it wasn't going to be meant to be.  Gosh, I don't want to be negative about this book, because I really did enjoy it, but I am having a hard time even remembering the highlights. 

The book started after Sookie saved Sam's life using the Cluviel Dor (magical fairy artifact that gives the owner one wish). I don't think I will go thru the whole plot of the book, but we see three of Sookie's enemies, Steve Newlin, John Glassport, and Claude team up to frame Sookie for Arlene's death and Sookie even ends up in jail before Sam secretly borrowed money from Eric to bail her out in exchange for not ever being more than just a business partner to her.  We get to see all the troops called in to help Sookie...Mr. Cataliades, Diantha, Amelia, Bob, Barry the Bellhop and even Quinn.  Eric and Sookie officially break up and he marries Freyda, as promised.  Amelia's father, Copley Carmichael, is another enemy of Sookie's who sells his soul (and his driver, Tyrese's soul) to the devil for the wish of gaining the Cluviel Dor, which had already been used by Sookie.  So Copley decided he too wanted Sookie dead and went after her.  After Eric moves to Oklahoma with his new wife, Pam becomes Sheriff!!  Jason and Michelle got married!  Tara and Sookie strengthened their relationship and Bill and Alcide all ended on a positive note with Sookie.  Sam, of course, couldn't stay away from Sookie and eventually they realized they were better as a couple than as just friends.  Sookie has her "happily ever after" with Sam.  

Obviously, for most avid readers of the Sookie books, who Sookie finally ends up with has been the most heated debate/ moment to look forward to.  I've always pushed for Eric and Sookie (like most people, I think!), but I knew that it would never work.  I do have to say, the break-up was kind of glossed over with little to no emotion from either of them.  I would have liked to see a little more of Eric rather than end the book with the feeling that Eric is a total dick.  I had a sneaky suspicion (as well as lots of spoiler alerts) that Sookie and Sam would end up together and I wasn't really rooting for them.  So boring!  Yeah, yeah....she wants a normal life and a family, etc...but Sam?  Ugh.  Basically, I thought a lot of things were rushed/ garbled all together and I am completely meh about Sookie ending up with Sam....that about covers it.  I wish it wasn't such a lackluster finish, but at least everything was tied up in a nice little package and even as the worst book of the series, it's still better than lots of other books! 

Ming

Lately, things have been really chaotic in my life.  I have been dealing with, as the doctor's all seem to think, a minor nuisance of some female issues, which has been going on for a little over three months.  Another ongoing problem we were having was my cat, Ming, had been sick.  It's been around a month and a half.  I can't honestly say for sure when we noticed Ming getting a lot thinner, but I mostly attributed it to taking the cats off of wet food.  Anyway, one day I noticed she was getting really thin and wasn't acting quite right.  I probably let the symptoms go for too long without really realizing what was going on, but I finally decided to call the vet.  I took her in and they immediately told me she needed to spend at the very least, the weekend getting IV fluids.  She was very jaundice (I swear I never even noticed, but to be fair, she was a tortoise shell cat and tended to look a little brown/ yellow anyway) and they diagnosed her with a fatty liver.  The vet was very concerned.  She took some blood as well to try and determine the underlying cause of Ming's weight loss.  I explained to the vet the Ming has been basically ravenous and eating me out of house and home.  The vet took some blood and thought for sure it was Ming's thyroid.  It came back negative.  So we sent out for an even more detailed blood test...negative.  We even treated for thyroid with no luck.  I'm getting a little ahead of myself, Ming spent 5 days at the vet's office after that first appointment and got IV fluids.  When we took her home, we were taught how to give her fluids at home (basically putting a needle under her skin and giving her 240ml of fluids...which seems like a LOT!)  For the next 5-6 weeks, she was at the vet every weekend.  She just wasn't getting better.  At one point, on Saturday, I called the vet's office after hours and we met with the intention of putting her down.  The vet questioned if that was what I really wanted, of course it wasn't, so we tried some cortisone and vitamins.  After that she felt good for a day or two, then her back legs started failing.  The vet gave her a shot of pain meds and that helped for a few more days.  We started slowing down on the fluids, but after a week, I noticed she was getting really jaundice again.  So we tried more fluids.  After two days, she retained all of the fluids and her belly was completely distended. I finally asked A to take her to vet while I was at work and have her put down.  I cried all morning.  A told the vet if she wanted to see what was the problem, she was welcome to for the learning experience.  She had cancer.  Poor Ming.

Ming was completely my cat.  Anyone who has cats know, sometimes they pick one person as their owner.  Ming definitely picked me.  She slept with me religiously (up until her illness) and she would only come to me when I called her.  Every night she was on my lap.  She really was the sweetest cat I've ever met.  She was always so loving.  I will definitely miss her.  I swear, from the moment I got her (and Trooper, our other cat), I knew that when something like this happened, I would be crushed.  My cats were my lifeline when we lived in Wapakoneta, they were my friends and kids when I had no one.  I'm just happy that I was lucky to have 10 1/2 years with Ming.  Now I am going to spoil our other cat, Trooper!

  

Labels

As maybe a few of you know, life with L has never been entirely easy.  Wait, did someone say parenthood was easy?!?  Obviously, we all know it's not, but with L, it's been particularly challenging.  For quite some time, I've had suspicions that there was maybe something happening with L that was beyond our control.  I've discussed going to therapy in the past (with no success) and taking him to various speciality doctors.  The first to suggest seeing a behavioral Dr. was by the sleep specialist.  So I made an appointment with a doctor at Akron's Children's.  We had our initial appointment last October and decided to go forth with some testing.  Of course, said testing took EIGHT months to schedule.  The testing was for hearing, speech and autism.  Hearing proved to be a little difficult because L wasn't a fan of the headphones and he had difficulties with the directions.  The speech test seemed to go quite well.  The lady told us that he had an amazing vocabulary, but that he had issues with articulating words.  She said he has a tendency to talk fast and not pronounce everything fully.  I can only assume that's because I am a fast talker and he's picking that up from me.  The autism test was interesting.  We (A, my mom, and I) sat and watched the whole test, but we weren't allowed to help or interject at all.  It was all about using your imagination while playing, connecting events, and making stories using different items.  I am not going to lie, it seemed like it was a hot mess.  L had no idea what he was doing.  The test was on a Monday and they told us to call to set up an appt on Friday.  I called on Friday and they tried to schedule us for OCTOBER 3!!!!  Five months from now!  That wasn't going to fly with me, so they put us on a list to call if any appointments cancelled.  Shockingly, they called me back and set us an appointment on Saturday.  Sadly, A wasn't able to get off of work, so I took my dad (my mom couldn't come because my brother and his wife were busy in Columbus having a baby!!!  YAY!).  The doctor took at least an hour meeting with us.  He had a good conversation with L and I.  L did end up testing positive for being on the autism spectrum, just barely.  After all was said and done, the doctor decided that he was not completely comfortable slapping the label of autistic on L right away.  L does have quite a few red flags suggesting a mild autism, but he also have quite a few characteristics that don't fit either.  The doctor suggested A and I do some parenting therapy for the next six months to see if that doesn't help our situation.  If things have gotten a lot better, he is happy without diagnosing L as autistic.  If we are still struggling, we are going to go forth with a title of autism.  Once he has that "label" (I am using this word because this is the term the doctor used.  I am not entirely comfortable with it.  Labelling sounds so harsh), we would be able to receive help we otherwise wouldn't qualify for. 

I am still trying to come to terms with how I feel about this.  For years, I've had a fear that autism might be something we are dealing with, albeit it very mild and high functioning, but I've always talked myself out of it because L has never completely fit the definition (obviously, I have been way more on par than I ever thought).  I realize that lots of children have it worse than L does and bless the parents that have been through this.  That being said, raising L has been difficult in many ways and when finally asked in a way that I could understand, the doctor finally got it out of me that we have indeed altered and modified our lives completely around L.  I've spent lots of time feeling like a bad parent and guilty for giving in to a lot of L's quirks rather than being tough and not letting him rule our lives.  It has always seemed to make more sense to avoid things that set L off and avoid a bigger scene than to keep fighting.  When I told that to the Dr, he conceded and said that if that is really the case, then most likely there is something going on rather than not.  In my heart, I've always known that L was a different type of child.  He's quirky, extremely intelligent, and very sensitive.  All of which I LOVE about him, but also tends to cause a lot of struggles.  My rational mind tells me that either way, whether it be a summer of therapy getting some parental techniques that we can use to make things easier and it helps a bunch or a true diagnosis of autism, we are finally getting closer to helping make our lives a little easier and helping us to raise L as a happy and well adjusted child.  I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I was shocked when the doctor told us he tested positive, even if it was just barely, for autism.  I'm also tired just thinking about the work we have ahead of us (not that things have been easy by any means up until this point!)  The one thing the doctor said to me that makes me feel a little better is that it is very possibly that he could outgrow autism.  Ultimately, as parents, all we want is for L to be successful at life.  We will do everything in our power to make this happen.  Isn't that what matters in the end?