Question #12 Where in the World?

If you could live anywhere, where would it be?  For some reason, maybe because I actually like living in Ohio, I can only imagine enjoying living in a new place for a year or so.  Weird, right. Anyway, not that I've explained my weird little Maggie quirk.....

If I could live anywhere, I think I'd like to live on the coast of Italy somewhere. I've been to a few different places in Italy, but never the coast. Everything I've seen is amazingly beautiful. And living on the coast will satisfy my desire to live by the ocean. It'd be super neat to go and live in Calabria where my family is from.  From the photos, it's amazingly beautiful.  I figure I've also lived in Germany for awhile, I should live where my other side of my family is from (I am second generation on both sides of my family....my mom's parents came from Germany and my day's Italy). It would be so cool to learn Italian too!!!  I love exploring and learning about my culture.  Since both sets of grandparents came from their respective countries, they have passed down quite a few traditions. I love having that ethnicity in my life. It's awesome!!

Who wouldn't want to live here for a little while??  Amazing!!!!

Check Up for L

L had a doctor's appt last Friday.  He was diagnosed at eleven months with an atrial septal defect (ASD).  Basically this is a hole in the atrial part of of his heart.  We have seen a pediatric cardiologist since every 18 months.  The Dr. seemed pretty sure at his last appointment that he would have to have the hole surgically closed, but we were still holding out hope that it would potentially close on its own.  Friday, we found out that the hole is still the same size and L's right side of his heart is bigger than the left, which apparently what they expect.  We discussed when the surgery would take place and the Dr still insists that it's best to wait 2 more years.  He said that it would be better to do the surgery on a heart that is a little bigger.  He also said that new technology comes out all the time and there could be something that would close the whole even better in two years.  He described the hole as "not huge, but not small either"....guess that makes it medium sized?  He also said that the hole will not be closing on its own.  So we are planning for surgery in Spring 2015.  L has no restrictions and can play sports and run around as a normal kid...which is something he has always told us, so that's reassuring.

Part of me understands why the Dr feels more comfortable waiting, however, as a parent, you want to see your kid 100%.  I hate to think that he has to have heart surgery.  Thankfully, it isn't going to require open heart surgery.  I just want him fixed.  Though typically, this specific heart problem does not cause children to be smaller than a normal child, L has always been super small.  Who knows for certain if this isn't causing him to be small?  Looks like we are gonna wait the two years out and expect some surgery then....yikes! 

Here is a website that tells you what an ASD is....it's pretty informative!

http://kidshealth.org/kid/health_problems/heart/asd.html#

 

Question #11 When You Grow up...?

I can't remember who I was talking to, but recently I had the discussion about what you wanted to be when you grow up.  Whoever I was talking to said, "A nurse of course!  Just like all little girls!"  I never wanted to be a nurse growing up.  And as an adult I most definitely DON'T want to be a nurse (no offense to nurses, but I am the biggest chicken ever when it comes to needles and blood....no thanks!)  When you were a little kid, what did you want to be when you grow up?  Did you end up following your childhood dreams?

In second grade, we had a homework assignment to make a billboard and a presentation of what we wanted to be when we grow up.  I immediately knew what I was going to do my billboard and presentation on.  I wanted to be a marine biologist!  All of my life, we have made a yearly trip to the beach (Hilton Head, SC).  I've always loved the ocean and water wildlife.  But the biggest reason, at second grade, was that I liked hermit crabs.  Yup, I loved hermit crabs.  At one point I had somewhere around 7-8.  I even included one of my hermit crabs in my presentation!  I actually entertained the idea of going to college to be a marine biologist for a long time.  I took a special marine biology class in high school...it was great!  One course of freshman biology in college put a damper on my childhood dream.  Somehow I got myself majored in German and now work for an insurance company....that makes perfect sense, right? 

Question #10 Guilty Pleasures...update

I am totally behind!  Yikes! Oh well....onwards!  I love admitting embarrassing facts to the whole worldwide web.  So today I am going to ask what is your guilty pleasure?  I'm going to say, for myself, mostly it's TV shows that are my guilty pleasures.  I am going to list three.

1.  Anything Kardashain.  God, I know how awful they are...I really do.  It's totally trash TV....but I can't get enough.  I think I am going to give them up because, basically all I am doing is feeding into their ridiculous empire, but I can't stop myself.  When I watch it, I think to myself, "they can't surprise me anymore" and every time, they do.  It's awful and awesome all at the same time.

2.  16 & Pregnant/ Teen Mom.  For some reason, watching stupid teens getting pregnant and whining about how difficult it is to raise a baby makes me feel like a better parent.  I know it's a controversial show and to some extent, I completely agree it glorifies teen pregnancy.  Maybe because I am a mom in my thirties with a young child, I can relate to their plights of how difficult being a parent is...at any age.  But I also see how the parents of the teens help them SO much, practically raising the kids themselves.  When you are an adult and married, you have only you and your spouse (and if you are a single parent...just you) to rely on ultimately.  I'm not saying that grandparents or friends don't help, but you are expected to raise a child and take care of your family's physical, emotional, and financially.  I have lost some interest in these shows lately, but I will definitely admit to being hooked big time!

3.  Facebook creeping.  I dare anyone to say they don't do this if they are Facebook or Twitter, Instagram, even Pinterest....whatever.  I am woman enough to admit that I straight up love creeping on Facebook (or any social media for that matter....I am bad!!)  I am the nosiest person ever.  When I was in HS, my BFF and I would cruise by the houses of guys we had crushes on....Facebook has now made creeping easier and more socially acceptable.  It's amazing!  I don't really get to creep too often these days, but I sneak it in every now and again :)

Alright, your turn!

I just thought of the worst/ funniest guilty pleasure of mine....this is SO bad!  I love Degrassi.  Straight up, I knew who Drake and Nina Dobrev were LONG before they became really famous.  And I don't mean that I watched Degrassi when I was young...I mean, I actually still find myself watching it now.  OK, that was more embarrassing then anything Kardashian. 

Crafts Galore

As you know, I like to post pictures of all the crafts and such that I do.  It's been a long time since I've done this and to top it off, it was the Christmas season which means my crafting was doubled.  I figured I'd post some pictures to show you what I've been up to since Thanksgiving.  I haven't had a lot of time since the beginning of the year to do much yet, but I am sure I will post updates regularly.  If you ever have questions or want some directions, let me know!

I added some pictures of some of the jewelry I have made as well. I love these chandelier earrings.  I used the last of my chandelier silver findings on these!

These are moss agate earrings that I just adore!  They are already sold! 

This is an amazing necklace/ earring set made out of red creek jasper.  No joke, this is by far my new favorite stone!  So pretty and versatile.

I made these our of the sand, sand dollars, and shells we found in Hilton Head. I gave them to everyone in my family who came to our vow renewal ceremony.

This is the second Thanksgiving I made this awesome relish tray.  I kind of elaborated this year and added more veggies.  Seriously cute!

This Spring, my mom, L, and I collected all these adorable, teeny pine cones.  I have no idea what tree they are from, but they are really cool and we came up with this neat idea for Christmas.

This is a Pinterest project.  I used plastic candy canes and bought a snowflake ornament to put in the middle.

Also a Pinterest project.  I made enough for all the kids at Christmas party L was invited to, all my family, one for each kid in L's preschool class and for our tree!  Holy cinnamon ornaments!!! 

Pinterest project....every year my co-worker and her kids and us have a craft night at my house to make Christmas crafts.  I did a little homework before they all came and made this ornament!

These are wine glasses that I painted for a Christmas gift.  They turned out really cute!

I'm a Pinterest addict and love trying new crafts.  Feel free to follow me on Pinterest (Maggie Boggs)....I happen to be really popular on Pinterest!!! ;)  Also, if you have any cool ideas you want to pass along to me...please do!  I'm always looking for new ways to be creative!

Question #9 Cats or Dogs??

We have two cats and one dog (as well as a guinea pig, rabbit, and two fish).  I love animals.  If you like animals, chances are good you have a preference for cats or dogs.  So....are you a cat person or a dog person?  Why?

I love both cats and dogs and in all fairness I can't see my life without either.  That being said, I definitely prefer cats.  I adore my cats like nothing else.  I know that some people may argue that cats are cold and picky, but that's kind of what I love about cats.  When they do decide to shower you with their affection, you feel really special.  I love how each cat has their own personality.  In my house, Ming is my sweet little girl, always ready to cuddle you, and usually a little more skittish than Trooper around people and the dog.  She is definitely more my cat...when I call her, she comes and normally, she's always laying with me.  Trooper is my handsome, multi-personality guy.  When he wants to be nice, he is as sweet as sweet can be.  When he wants to be mean, look out!  He will bite and hiss like mad.  Usually, there is only a few seconds of time in between each emotion.  Hahaha!  Trooper will take on anything.  He loves teasing the dog and won't back down if she wants to play.  He also gives kisses and loves to beg for anything with sugar. 

I'd probably have a ton more cats if A would let me!  Hahaha!  But I have to give A credit, he does clean the litter boxes, so I will respect the "two cat" rule for now.  OK, so tell me which furry friend you prefer! 

This is Trooper.  He's my bipolar kitty...he can be super lovey or super vicious...and you never know when it will happen!!!

This is Ming.  She is my little sweetheart! 

Question #8 Get Out of Marriage Free...updated

Probably one of my favorite questions to ask, mostly because I love my answer so much!  OK....if an opportunity arose for you to be trapped in an elevator (or any other fun scenario you can think of) with someone famous (we will stick to people who are alive), who would it be?  Basically, who would be your "Get Out of Marriage Free" person  (even if you're not married you can still play this game)?  Some people have a list of five people, the top two of my list have been there for years and probably won't change anytime real soon.  The other three change fairly frequently.  And to be fair, I'm super obsessed with #1, sometimes I can't even think of five!  I'm pretty sure my #1 is a pretty easy guess....

"Get Out of Marriage Free" List
1. ALEXANDER SKARSGARD.....duh....big time swooning!  I really don't think it's even fair how hot he is.  It should be illegal.  Sometimes, I like to fantasized about what I would say to him if I ever "bumped" into him....I swear if I was single and didn't have anything else to do with my life and had a little money, I'd go to Sweden (I know he has a house in the US, but seeing him in his home country would be so much better) and stalk him.  I never get tired of looking at pictures, watching anything he's in, or reading interviews of him.  Yes, I am pathetically obsessed. 
2. Christopher Meloni....also duh....I've loved him for years and years!
3. Scott Speedman....Felicity anyone?
4. Jame Magnussen...OK I am still crushing on my Olympic boyfriend....though really he's a little too young
5. Michael Fassbender- I love that ornery look he has...he just looks like trouble

Runner-Up- Mads Mikkelsen :)

Well, dang it, I cannot for the life of me think of anyone to put in my #3 and #4 spot.  I'm sure it will come to me!  So anyway, that is the basics of my list.  Please, PLEASE tell me who you are swooning over so much that you'd forget who your spouse is!  Hahahahaha!  PS- A's list includes Shania Twain and Gwen Stefani (random much?)  PPS- do I pick questions at least once a week so that I can use Alexander Skarsgard as my answer on purpose?  I'm seriously a dork.  Whatever....feel free to swoon after my #1!!!

I thought of #3 and #4....but really, they are constantly changing....so tomorrow, I could re-update.  A girl is allowed to do that!!! 

Question #7 New Year's Resolutions?

Being that it is still January, I figure I can probably still get away with this question.  Albeit, some people have already given up, I'll ask anyway.  Did you make any New Year resolutions?  If so, what were they?  Have you made steps to follow through with them?  (Wow...that was three questions!)  I prefer to think of New Year resolutions more as goals.  Each year I make a list of goals, things I'd like to accomplish throughout the year, not necessarily all year long (there are a few of those too).  I always have a few main goals and then a bunch of smaller, easier to complete tasks.  I also add a few ideas in that are maybe more to think about than actually accomplish. 

Here are a few of my goals for 2013.

- Get healthy.  That's a big one, I know.  I really should say "lose weight" because there is no doubt that needs to happen as well, but really I want to be healthier.  If I lose weight in the process, so be it.  Overall, I am mostly content with who I am.  There is definitely room for improvement (especially since I am heavier than I've ever been), but it's most important to live a healthier life in general.  This encompasses a lot more than just my weight.  I've already started working on this in 2012, I would like to keep up with it and expand in 2013.  A few things that will help me with this ongoing goal is swimming.  Swimming is a passion of mine, so in a way, it helps keep my body and mind healthier.  While getting up early and swimming isn't entirely great, having the time away from L and catching up with my BFF while working out is well worth it.  Another step is eating better.  I love veggies and fruit.  I like clean food...however, I can't control myself around bad food either.  I am excited to try new recipes that are both delicious and good for you.  I haven't always been a big fan of cooking, but as I became a parent, I've finally come to love it.  Finally, I'd like to work on managing stress in my life....maybe take up some of the techniques I learned while doing biofeedback for my shoulder pain.

- Getting L to sleep in underwear instead of pull ups.

- Using re-usable grocery bags when going to the store.  I go through about seven million plastic bags.  It's insane.  And really, I have a bunch of reusable bags and I love them.  I am just SO forgetful, I never remember them.  Seriously....I went to Wal-Mart with my bags in the cart and STILL forgot they were there....DUH!

- Starting a compost bin.  I haven't started this yet because I haven't quite decided on where I want to put a compost bin.  I'm sure that A is going to just LOVE this goal.  Hahahaha....I started recycling last year and we have WAY more recycling than fits into one small bin.  Somehow, all my recycling goods end up all over my back porch when the bin is overflowing.

- Continue to find creative outlets for both myself and L.

- Make more jewelry (this is pretty constant goal every year).

- Plant another garden and maintain my flower beds.  This was something I started last year and actually really enjoyed.  I'd like to expand on my garden and keep filling in my flower beds this year.

- Learn the best way to help L succeed.  This is a huge one.  A and I need to work on finding a better way to help L flourish.  Recently, I had a parent/ teacher conference with his preschool teacher and found out (not completely unsurprisingly) that they were having similar problems with him as we were at home.  We have started some testing and gone through some of the process, but I would like us to maybe go to some counselling or classes to help us be better parents.

Alright....I'd say I have quite a year ahead of me.  I'm sure along the way I will tweak and add things.  Looking back on last years list, I feel a great sense of accomplishment.  OK, your turn!!!

Swimming Update

I just want you to know...I am ridiculously impressed with myself and my BFF.  We have been swimming now since September.  I mean, seriously, that is a huge feat!  We did take a small break off during the holiday (maybe two weeks) because I was having ear issues and really we were just so busy, it made sense.  We have been back into the swing (or SWIM) of things for two weeks now.  Maybe my BFF might say differently, but I love having the high school girls swim team swimming every morning with us.  Just hearing my old coach (I swam my sophomore to senior year) yelling at the girls makes me want to push harder.  Actually, if I was swimming with both arms (yes, I swim all left-armed and NO, I don't swim in circles...hee hee) and not just backstroke, I think I would try and tackle their swim practices.  I have to admit, I hate that even one armed swimming hurts my bad shoulder and neck and I hate that I can't swim more than 100 yards at a time because my right shoulder feels stuck in a sore position, but I feel like I can't help but push myself to do more.  I imagine not everyone can sympathize with me on this, but for anyone who can, there doesn't seem to be anything worse than your body betraying you.  There is so much I WANT to be doing and so little I can actually do.  It's definitely frustrating.  I walk a VERY tight line between exercise that is beneficial for me and exercise that is bad for me.  That all being said, to me, being in the pool again is still super amazing.  And I am really proud of us for sticking it out....even when it's freaking freezing at 6:00am!  Here's to us, BFF!!!  Woot woot!       

Question #6 Best Qualities

Before I get into question #6, I wanted to see if anybody had any feedback for the new "question a day" format.  It's been a full week and I think so far so good, but if anybody has any suggestions to make it better or even suggestions for questions....let me know.

Yesterday, I talked about my flaws....today I wanted to ask: what are your best attributes??  I always prefer to go ugly early, so now it's your turn to tell me what you love about yourself.  We may not be perfect, but each and every person has some redeeming qualities.  Here's your chance to list them.  In doing this, not only am I seeing the areas I need to improve in, but I can also take a moment to recognize some my good characteristics.  In order to grow and be successful, it's important to know both your weak and strong points.

This seems to be a bit harder of a question for me.  I am a loyal and forgiving person.  I like to think that my friends can come to me with any problem and I can help them through it or at the very least be supportive.  I may not have a ton of friends, but the friends I have will be my friends for the rest of my life.  My heart and door are always open.   

I am super organized.  This is the flip side of being a rigid perfectionist.  I love that even though life always seems chaotic, somehow, I still manage to stay organized.  I love lists and being prepared.  This may all sound really funny, but to someone like me, it's awesome!  Haha!

That's all I can think of right now....maybe more will come to later!  :)

Question #5 Biggest Flaw

Hmmm...I am having a hard time thinking of a question today....  OK, I guess I'll go off the cuff.  We are all humans and humans are flawed by nature.  So I ask....what is your biggest flaw?  Something you wish you could change about yourself? 

Now that I thought of a question, now I have to think about the answer....not because I am so perfect, more because I have so many flaws.  I guess the big one that comes to mind immediately is that I am a perfectionist.  And I am extremely rigid about it.  I tend to be really long winded and stubborn when I am trying to explain my logic and people get frustrated because I come across as being argumentative, when really I am just trying to explain how to make things just so.  I think the way people perceive me is probably something I would like change about myself most.  I am very blunt.  I have a dry sense of humor and laugh when I am nervous.  All of these things combined can be off putting at a first glance.  The best part is, I don't really even know how I would correct these things.  They are part of my personality.  I am thankful for my friends and family that give me more a first glance and realize I am not completely that person.  Maybe tomorrow I'll tell you the good stuff about me ;)

New Car

I know I said I was going to try and follow a new format, but I am so excited that I can't really leave my new car out.  So I guess I can say, there will always be a questions of the (week)day, but maybe I'll bless you with little tidbits of my life still.  What can I say?  I am a wordy monster who can't stick to one topic a day to save my life.  Onwards...this weekend we bought a new car!  I am ridiculously excited (though not even close to as excited as A was!  He barely slept the night before we got it!  HAHA!)  I have been dreaming of a brown Ford Edge for years.  A few years ago, I saw a brown Ford Edge at the Cleveland Car Show and I fell hard.  Hahaha...that sounds so dorky....who falls in love with a car?  Whatever, haha, I've liked this car for a few years for sure!  Getting a new car is always so exciting.  :)

If I figure out how to post pictures (for some reason blogger changed things on me!), I'll post a pic of my new car!



Here I am at the car show a few years ago sitting in a brown Ford Edge :)

Here's MY new Ford Edge!!!

Question #4 Do Over?

If you know anything about me, I am big on preserving my memory.  It seems like after having cancer, I have a terrible time remembering things.  I have no idea why this has happened, but it's gotten worse the older I get.  I love taking pictures and writing in my journal (or blogging...ha ha) so that I can remember everything.  So....today's question of the day is: If you could go back in time and restart your life, when would it be?

I know that a lot of people say that they'd hate to relive high school again, but me, I'd love to go back and start out as a freshman....or maybe a sophomore.  High school wasn't terrible for me, but it wasn't great either.  I wouldn't change anything about myself because I loved being me, but I'd like to have taken more chances and done more out of my comfort zone.  It would be fun to be a little more confident in high school. too.  I think doing college over would be amazing too (if I started my re-do in high school, I could re-do college too).  College was one of the best times of my life.  I loved being a student, I loved the freedom of being "on my own", it was great meeting new lifelong friends, partying...everything about college was great!  Maybe I am just missing my youth and carefree life, I don't know, but that was a great period in time.  The fun stopped when I turned 21 and found out I had cancer, however, I'll always remember the first three years of college as the best years!!  OK, your turn....if you could go back and re-do your life at a certain time, what would it be?       

Question #3 Bad Music?

While sitting at work, I am forced to listen to the radio and all the "popular" music all day.  I am not a huge pop music fan so it's not surprising to hear me grumbling non-stop over this song or that.  Ugh, drives me nuts.  Anyway, it got me thinking....I am fairly certain, growing up, before refining our wonderful tastes in music, everyone has that one band that they liked and can barely admit it now!  So here it is....what band did you like in the past, but hate and are embarrassed about now?

Admittedly, I had to give this question a little thought.  There aren't too many bands that I liked as a youth that I don't like now.  But one that stands out is Maroon 5.  God, I want to hide my head in the sand just admitting that...ew.  Haha!  When they first came out, I listened to "Songs About Jane" all the time.  OK, if we are being truthful here, every once in a blue moon I'll still listen to and enjoy it.  Anything past that specific CD of theirs though, makes me cringe big time.  Ugh, it's just sooooo awful!!!  Seriously, Maroon 5 is probably the band I whine about most when it comes on the radio (that and Taylor Swift...groan...NEVER liked her so I'm good there!)  Now that I've revealed a deep, dark secret of mine, I think I am going to be done for the day!  Please, PLEASE make me feel better and share your most cringe worthy music loves!

Question #2 Personal Style

Alright, since I am trying this new format, I might as well just put it out there that it will be a miracle if I actually blog during the weekend.  Wow, all weekend I had a bunch of cool and fascinating questions floating around in my head, now I am drawing a blank.  I'll go to one of my favorite random questions.  I like this question because it makes you think a little about yourself and I can see some funny answers!!

How would you describe your personal style??

I would describe my style as grandma chic.  And really, if you know me, it's perfect.  I love cardigans.  Actually, I am obsessed with cardigans.  I can honestly say that it is a rare occasion that I am not wearing a cardigan.  I love layering.  My mom always thinks it's hilarious to call me a little Italian grandma.  It could be 100 degrees outside and I will still have TWO shirts on (you can guess when it's -5 degrees I have a TON of layers on!)  I have almost cat eye glasses that kind of make me look like an old school librarian.  And I LOVE my glasses!  I always wear comfortable shoes like Birkenstocks and Uggs.  I have a tendency to mis-match my colors in a very Maggie way.  It's weird, but for some reason, it works.  Lately, my new favorite items in my closet are my sheer shirts.  Now when you hear "sheer shirts", you are probably envisioning something sexy.  Surprisingly, they are not really sexy at all, I am assuming....I don't have men beating down my door wear I wear them....so....  I seriously think I have a sheer shirt to wear every day for two weeks. I love them.  When you are overweight and looking for something flattering, I think these shirts are great, they are flowy and draw your eyes to a woman's bust (one of my better features) and not their middle!  Hahaha!  I do draw the line at polyester pants.  So, overall, "grandma chic" is putting a slightly younger, hipper twist on grandma clothes.  Alright, if there are any readers out there...

Here I am in my signature glasses, cardigan, and sheer shirt!  

New Year, New Ideas Question #1 Favorite TV Shows

I've admittedly been putting off writing in my blog lately because I feel like, at this stage in the game, it might be better if I pin down more of a purpose for my blog.  As you can imagine, there are a million different ideas floating around in my head and there is a good chance that I could try a few ideas out and see which one sticks.  I hope the teeny amount of people who may come across my blog will hold on and bear with me.  My gut instinct idea is asking a random question every day and answering it, with the hopes that anyone who is a reader will answer as well.  I think it could be really fun and I actually really enjoy throwing random questions at my friends all the time anyway.  So....I guess now is as good of time as any to start trying this new format.  Here's the first question:

Name your top three favorite current TV shows:

Answer:

1. True Blood-  The most obvious reason I love this show is because I am completely obsessed with Alexander Skarsgard and well, any show with him in it, by default has to be a favorite even if it sucked.  However, Alexander Skarsgard aside, True Blood is still a pretty amazing show.  I like the vampire genre a lot.  Before all the vampire TV shows and movies really started getting popular, I was reading books about vampires.  I have decided that I prefer my vampires a little grittier and sexier than some of the other stuff out there (aka Twilight or Vampire Diaries) and True Blood fits that bill perfectly.  Another reason I love True Blood is because I cannot get enough of the books the TV show is based on.  I realize that the two have parted ways somewhere during season one, but it is always exciting to find the parallels and differences between the two. 

2. Shameless (the US version)- I cannot get enough of this show.  There is something so disgusting and endearing about it all at the same time.  Every time you think that the characters can't do anything to shock you, they do.  Shameless is a great show.  I love the dynamics of the family and even though they break laws, lie, and scheme constantly, there is a love and sense of together-ness that most people have never experienced because we've never had life that tough.

3. Lost Girl- This little gem from Canada is so awesome.  I am not going to sell you on the wonderful acting because frankly there's times the acting is so bad it's comical.  That being said, Lost Girl is still a ton of fun and action packed.  The story is about a succubus (apparently it's not just my vampires I prefer sexier....) who didn't know what she was and as she discovers what she is, finds herself in the middle of two groups: the light Fae and the dark Fae.  She chooses to be neither.  Can you really go wrong with a science fiction show about a succubus?  OK, you probably can, but Lost Girl doesn't...at all! 

Alright....your turn!!!!