Getting Old....Feeling Young

I know everyone tells you that getting old is so awful.  Up until recently, I never really gave much thought to it.  I don't know if it's my upcoming birthday or what has me thinking about getting older, but suddenly I'm struck with a bad case of missing my more youthful days.  Usually, when this mood strikes me, I long for my college days.  I never really think back and miss my high school days, but suddenly I am thinking how cool it would be to be 17 again.  OK, maybe cool is the wrong word.  I doubt even knowing what I know now would make me cool at 17, but it would be fun.  I miss my swimming days.  I was watching this fun video the US Olympic swim team did yesterday and all the girls were on the bus singing and it made me miss that.  I miss being in shape and swimming nonstop.  It was just all so new and exciting to me.  And it was relaxing.  Whenever I was stressed (like I had any real stress at that age!  hahaha), jumping in the pool and swimming it out made me feel so much better.  Maybe another reason this is all coming up for me is that finally I am getting some relief with my shoulder.  Someday, I'd really like to get back in the pool.  I miss it desperately.  The idea is so exciting, but scary at the same time. 

Sometimes, I just can't completely believe that I am almost 33 years old, a mom, and a wife!  There was so much more I wanted to do with my life before I became an ADULT.  Ugh...that dirty word.  I feel like I was forced to grow up so fast when I had cancer.  The beginning years of my twenty's were difficult.  Suddenly, I was pushed into a very grown up role.  I don't feel like I rushed into getting married or having a child (jeez, I wanted to start my family years before I actually did!), but I definitely grew up faster after having faced my mortality.

Maybe what I need to do is find my carefree, youthful self again.  By no means is 33 old!  As things are falling into place with my shoulder, I am feeling like I need to make some changes...I am on the brink of something big, possibilities I had begun to think were never going to be possible.  I just need to have the courage to step out of my comfort zone and take some chances.  I have lived through so many negative experiences....maybe it's time for some positive changes!!!